Sixth grade has been emotionally tough for my 12-year-old daughter. Friendships that seemed bulletproof just a year ago have morphed into simple acquaintances; the only evidence of their existence being the wacky photos in her scrapbook. She’s made new friends – I’d say better ones – over the last couple of months but she’s a gentle soul and prone to drama. I’ve spent many nights talking with her about it as I tuck her in, trying to give her some perspective and balance.
Last night we talked about a boy friend of hers who is moving from yet another foster home to boot camp. He’s an angry kid who’s been passed around since he was little and taken from his drug-abusing parents. My little girl is an empathizer and when she asked about his recent change of dress and negative demeanor, he told her about his situation. She responded with, “Wow…that’s really sad. I’ll be praying for you. God loves you, you know.” To which he said, “Yeah, that’s what all you crazy Christians say.” And stormed off. The other kids kind of blew off the exchange and didn’t say much more about it.
So I told her I was proud of her for stepping out like that but she was bewildered by his response. Like she thought the mere mention of God’s love would turn his life around on the spot. I asked her to think about the idea of God loving him through her and suggested that she simply ask him to talk then listen. Be his friend. Care. Don’t even mention God unless he brings Him up.
Her eyes lit up for a second then dimmed just as abruptly.
“If I do that, then everyone will think I like him…and I don’t…at least not like that. They’ll start talking about me and him.”
Then I quoted Jesus. “Jesus said if we followed him we would be persecuted. That doesn’t just mean that people will make fun of us for carrying a bible or praying over our meals. It will probably happen when we care enough about hurting people to do something to help them, too.”
I asked her, “Think about what happened yesterday. You did the Christian thing: told him God loves him and that you’d pray for him. Was he very receptive to that?”
“No,” she said.
“And did any of your friends make fun of you for saying that?”
“Well, no.”
“But if you just offered to talk and listen…” trying to get her to see.
“He’d probably be OK with that. But everyone might talk about us…but I think I get it.”
I’m really looking forward to tonight’s debrief.
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